So I'm trying "Watermelon Twist Trident, with Xylitol". I have no idea what possessed me to purchase this package of gum. It certainly wasn't hope. Maybe I was inspired by Owen Wilson and thought this would do the trick.
It is awful.
Shockingly disgusting.
I believe the "Twist" is that the fine people at Cadbury Adams drag each piece of faux-watermelon across the floor of a porn shop several times before packaging. The Xylitol is supposed to help fight cavities, but I'm certain it was initially a spermicide.
And I've just gotten to the aftertaste. It's truly dreadful, possibly worse than the initial burst of "flavor".
God - I need a beer right now.
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