the Golden State Warriors in the 90s.
Ah - the snide aggravating Brit is back.
I do like how he says "VanillerRice". It makes me giggle. Or maybe it's
just the thought of Vanilla Ice performing that makes me giggle.
Oh, so George Bush has My Sharona on his iPod. Leave it to this British
jackass to make the iPod uncool.
I'm never going to get tired of that elevating platform that all the artists
enter from.
Here go The Knack... Depending on the camera angle, the lead singer either
looks like Eric Idle or Professor Falken from WarGames. Let's take a moment
and salute the band for having a costume concept and sticking with it. The
sound mix sucks - no guitar. The performance isnt bad at all. And let's
face it - My Sharona is always going to be a fun song to hear. (Now that
it's not 1979 when the radio played it every five songs) Ooh - they're
going to do Jet's Are You Gonna Be My Girl. That's a good choice. I
think...
Oh - so that's Haddaway. He owes his entire life to Chris Kattan. Lucky
guy. Ooooh - Haddaway. From just the walk down the steps, I'm figuring
his answer to "What is love?" involves a cucumber. I just can't find it in
my heart to make fun of the blonde singing backup. The dancer chicks doing
the Roxbury boys head dancing is hysterical. OK - he just he's going to do
a bit of "Brit-kneeeee", "Tawk-sick". Oh - he's in the club. Pick up the
pink courtesy phone, Haddaway - you're tired.
Tommy TuTone! The first song my cousin ever learned to play on guitar.
Tommy TuTone looks like he could use a haircut. Is it me or does he sound
like Neil Young? Come to think of it, I haven't seen Neil recently. He's
got his thumb up on the high notes - Tommy, bubulah, your thumb isn't a
pitch correction machine. Sorry to be the one to tell you. Oh - he's got
some nasty gap teeth. Maybe a bad barfight. Blink 182? Lotsa luck...
Christ - how many people were in the Motels!? There were like 8 people in
that picture. Did you ever think that it took that many people to play
their music? Ooh - the lead singer looks like Linda Rondstadt's hard living
sister. She doesn't sound bad, but there's no power - it's a shame when
people don't learn how to sing. And sing for a living. Damn - there was so
much smoke on that stage, I thought Great White was playing.
Hooray! Vaniller! He gets a dancer too! Yay! The mix really blows - I
couldn't hear the DJ say the "...while DJ revolves it" line. I'm bummed.
Man - he can still roll it with the 818. I like how he yells at the
audience - "LET ME HEAR YOU SAY IT!" He doesn't really give them many
options. It's either they say it, or he beats them up. He's going to sing
Destiny's Child's Survivor. Oh man.
OK - quick editorial. NBC keeps advertising this "I Want To Be A Hilton"
show, and while the girl singing "A Moment Like This" is amusing, I wonder
what this show could possibly be about. Mrs. Hilton is taking these
uncultured people and she's going to try and class them up? Here's an idea,
sweetie - how's about starting with your daughter. You know, the whore.
The Knack return. (You'll note I've stopped making comments about the
smarmy Brit. I've decided I'm just going to ignore him. For now.) So the
lead singer of The Knack is more relaxed now than before his band was big.
Yes - he achieved his goal, #1 record, #1 single, and then just packed it
in. Oooh - for the second song, we lose the neckties. So crazy. Here's a
question - they're playing one song - why's the guitarist got an extra
guitar by the amp? Just am observation. "Now You're Glad You Joined The
Party" - I hate the British guy.
Haddaway plays golf. I wonder if Haddaway uses Callaway equipment. I
wonder if Haddway uses Callaway to hit the Fairway... please stop me.Hooray
- more singers! More Dancers! And Uglier Outfits! Well, I'll say this for
Haddaway, he's singing this song more than Britney does. That's pretty much
where I'll leave it. Why's he crawling around on his belly? Is he looking
for a stray golf ball?
Tommy's a computer geek! Awesome! Funny - it only takes Blink 182 three
people to do this song. During the chorus Tommy/Neil Young pumps his fist
up and down - he looks like he's ragging at the paperboy for missing his
porch "That whippersnapper!". This wasn't that bad - sort of interesting
the way his (Neil Young) voice bends around the song.
Martha Davis' day job looks like the Luxor version of hell. Well, it's cool
that's she's really re-worked Don't Know Why. Excepting that the initial
version is like a perfect song. It sounds like she's singing it to the
backing music of Midnight Oil's "King of the Mountain". After hearing that,
I can safely say I know why she didn't come.
Gawd, can smarmy man make more bad Ice related puns with regards to Mr. Van
Winkle?
Ice is living in Texas? They kicked him out of the 818? Shame. He
shouldn't be riding that motorcycle without a helmet. Well, maybe it's
alright - he'll do less damage to the pavement or the trees when he crashes.
Now - really - can this even be called Survivor by Destiny's Child? He's
yet to sing a lyric from the song outside of "I'm a Survivor". This totally
sucks. God - I hope he doesn't win. Though I fear the genuine possibility
of it happening.
I can't really pick a favorite here. Who will win?
Oh good Christ - it's VanillerRice. Hell freezes over.
See you next week. Oh good God - Irene Cara's on next week. And Cameo!
And Howard Jones! This is like a murderer's row!
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