I may rival K-Fed

as the worst wrapper ever.




I mean - this looks like a frigging pagoda. Made out of wrapping paper. That's about to collapse...




It's a paper shredder, by the way. Does credit cards, too. Not CDs, though.

For that damnable <lj user="xtingu">

TELL ME ABOUT YOU
1. name:
2. birthday:
3. place of residence:
4. what makes you happy:
5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. do you read my lj:
7. if you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. an interesting fact about you:
9. are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. favorite place to be:
11. favorite lyric:
12. best time of the year:
13. weirdest food you like:


RECOMMEND
1. a film:
2. a book:
3. a band, a song and an album:

PLUS
1. one thing you like about me:
2. two things you like about yourself:
3. put this in your lj so i can tell you what i think of you.
4. Post a picture of yourself! (a link to one is fine, too!)

Worst Concert Recap Ever

I saw the Loser's Lounge Tribute to Elton John last night (with the always-delightful Mrs. Cobb). We went on fairly short notice (decided on Monday to go), and we had a BLAST!
Our highlights included Michael Cerveris' pretty fuzzy black jacket (and his so-so "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road"), the fantastic rendition of "I Want Love" (from Songs from the West Coast), the WOW! version of "Take Me To The Pilot" by Mike Fornatelle, but most of all, we heart the guitarist for the house band, a Mr. David Terhune. Working some leather pants and just enjoying the hell out of the evening.
There were some misses (some big ones), but in what can only be described as "rare", I'm choosing not to reflect on those moments. They just added to the evening.
We're definitely going to catch other Loser's Lounge shows when we can. I'll try to post ahead of time.

Watching a crapy movie.

I'm watching the regrettable Van Helsing on TNT. As it stands, it's not a very good film, but it may also include the most offensive accents in recent memory as well as the worst looping I've ever seen. It's like they don't even pretend to match the words with the lips. I wonder if a single line of dialogue that was shot made it to the screen.

Just Got Sirius

Anyone else have it?
Outside of Howard, First Wave, and Coffee House, to what should I be listening?

I'm not looking to buy a blender.

But if I was, I'd sure as hell be looking at a blender that can makes hockey puck smoothies or an iPod malt (among other things)

God may have a sense of humor

So a dear friend has had terrible back problems, and recently went through miserable corrective back surgery. She's been in a good deal of pain, and finally got home from the hospital the other day, and she's beginning what will most certainly be a long and painful rehab.
She's been posting to her blog on her progress, displaying great optimism and a remarkable sense of humor. She is Captain Awesome.
So anyway - she likened herself to Frankenstein the other day, and I posted a comment to her blog, making light of her painful medical situation, hopefully to get a laugh out of her.
I almost instantly experienced karmic backlash. Yesterday morning I played in my regular Saturday morning tennis game, and during warmups (probably the tenth shot I hit), I jerked my back suddenly, and threw my back out. I played my two hours cautiously (hey - I paid $30 for that court time!) but I began to feel my back tighten up throughout tennis. By the time I got home, I was walking like a cripple. I had to leave work early because I was in such intense pain (and because I was frightening the customers).
I am not going to begin to compare my back pain to my friend's, but suffice it to say, lesson learned. No more snarky comments making light of someone else's pain. (I give this about three days.)

Karma's a bitch, man.

(Oh, and now I get to gimp to my dad's for his Christmas Party of Doom, featuring the warring tribes of my family. Hooray.)

the dangers of multiculturalism...

Here's the shower caddie my roomie decided to purchase...



... and here are the stickers he chose from the multi language pack.

Bachelor Chow

Futurama often featured advertisements for a product called "Bachelor Chow". I always liked the title and longed for the day when I could deem something my personal "Bachelor Chow".
Well, gentle reader(s), that day has arrived. The answer was always there, but I somehow missed it.
Bachelor Chow is made and sold by the wonderful generous souls at Boston Market.
Seriously - how great is the BoMark? (thanks )
I've been going there somewhat regularly in the past month or so (as life has gotten busier) and I am constantly impressed with the quality of the food, the speed of service, and the fact that nobody cares if I'm eating alone.
It's as if I'm eating at my mother's house, except she's learned how to make a decent order of mashed potatoes and learned that one can steam vegetables and serve them without any sauce whatsoever. And I get all the leftovers.
So say what you will, but I'll keep supporting the big bad food service industry. Maybe I'll be the BoMark's Jared (nearly 30lbs since June. Not that you can really tell.), but who knows?

What a post

This post is a fantastic bit of commentary about the power of New Media, specifically with regards to a recent tragedy in the news.
The poster is the co-creator of the amazing Firefox web browser, and he's only 21. He puts me to shame.

Go here. Do this.

Light a candle. Fight AIDS.

Don't Read The Ruins!

I recently read The Ruins, by Scott Smith. It's something of a horror-ish suspense-ish novel. I was drawn to it because Smith wrote A Simple Plan, which is a favorite of mine. A Simple Plan was riveting, The Ruins kinda sucks.
I'd write more about why, but I don't want to give away details for people who are dead set on reading it, but I'd recommend readin A Simple Plan again instead.

Got the strangest cold call today

The woman was from a company that specialized in "Document Concept Management".
After she said "Document Concept Management" my eyes kinda glazed over and I don't remember much of the three minutes that followed.

It's always a shock...

To see people you sorta kinda know appear where you aren't expecting them. Like, say, in a pull quote on a website. Well, at least and I know we can trust these smart Swedes.
The guy I saw the One Man Star Wars has approved of these developers...

For people waiting for the Runway finale.....

go here and read this guy's blog recaps of the Runway episodes. Each one is a delight. I particularly like his little bits of artistic inspiration...
I'm still laughing about a porridge box he mocked up.
Read read read.
(and curse my friend CC for holding out on me with this until now.)

Prop or Permanent? You decide!

I spotted this with a couple of nights ago.
There's no way that this commercial features Shatner's factory-issued nose, right?
Here's the question - is that his "new" nose (Thanks for the referral, Michael Jackson) or was this sniffer part of a gag that didn't make the commercial?
In either case - this is a terrible nose, right?

What a dishonour!

hee hee

A self serving announcement.

I'm in a play. First time in two-and-a-half years!
Music From A Sparkling Planet, by Douglas Carter Beane. I'm playing a somewhat bitter, pop culture obsessed homo. I think the only real stretch for me is that my character has a boyfriend.
Check out the details here.
Come out and see it if you can - we run weekends through October!

We'll use a Laser....

From the often ridiculed "Better Living Through Microsoft" file (sorry ), I have this:
I'm not one who can really report too much on the good/bad of Microsoft, as I'm a Mac user. I mean, I work in IT and support Windows machines and all, but all the problems I see on clients' machines are (by and large) the fault of the client, not Bill Gates. I just blame him in order to make my clients feel like they're not total idiots. If I told them they were total idiots, I imagine they'd grow weary of paying my bills.
Anyway - one thing I have always felt Microsoft did well was hardware. Their keyboards tend to be serviceable (not as good as the old-reliable IBM keyboards of old, but what is?), and I have never had a problem with their mice. The first MS Optical Mouse Explorer that I owned was possibly the best money I've ever spent.
So I was using this Kensington keyboard for my Mac, cause I didn't like the Apple keyboard I'd originally got (and it didn't like getting green tea poured into it), but the space bar busted on it some time ago, and I just hadn't gotten around to replacing it. I finally did this week, got me a MS Wireless Laser Desktop 6000. People - if you want a wireless input solution, buy this fucking set. The keyboard has an excellent layout and feel, and the mouse is a nice weight, and points like a dream! I'm even enjoying the excellent Intellipoint software on my Mac. Bravo, Microsoft. I can now lean back when I surf. Bravo, indeed.

I mean, I'm not Pat Sajak, but...

So I'm at a bar that I sometimes frequent (when I go there, I seem to go there frequently, and then not for months) this past Friday, and a "friend" (a bar acquaintance - I could tell you a lot about him, but not his last name) says hello and we talk for a while. Well, he didn't really say hello, it was actually:
"Hey, Doom and Gloom! What's up?"
"Hey Ed! Doom and Gloom? What's that?
"That's your nickname. You're always so depressed, it picks me up to know someone's always way more bummed than me."

(ahem)

Mind you - this is a guy who's six years younger than me, and has serious respiratory problems. The guy who can make his lungs GURGLE is calling me Debby Downer. What the fuck!? Of course, I often see him on karaoke night, a night that would make Job order the hemlock, so maybe he thinks my Cowell-like commentary represents my world view, and not just my view of the people who ravage forty years of popular music every week. But I don't think so.
It's funny, but this conversation about how he thinks I'm depressing has made me incredibly depressed. (I guess that's more ironic than funny) I think. It could be menstrual, but I don't think so. I have since had a completely miserable weekend, where I was constantly trying to monitor my outward behavior, but still found time to lose my temper with a co-worker and eat Dunkin Donuts for the first time in a dog's age.
So I don't quite know what to do. I'm going to give this a couple more days to see if this black cloud leaves me, but my real concern is that this guy might be right. That I've been one giant fucking bummer for the last four years. It would explain a ton.
Is my biting and ever-present sarcasm a defense mechanism? A window to a black heart? Or just a charming gift from a loving mother?
I dunno - I've always thought of it as a way to display some intelligence, and that those who appreciated it were just other smart people seeing a kindred spirit. I never suspected they might be just be gravitating to me to feel better about themselves, cause I was a drinking talking before model for Zoloft.
But Don't Cry For Me Argentina, I could be sick or stupid, and what fun would that make me?
Now I'm going to curl up in bed in a fetal ball with some International House Coffee on my nightstand. not that I drink coffee.

Seriously - read something else if you want. This is just me doing some text therapy.

cause I'm economical.

for


1. Yourself:
Somewhat adrift

2. Your boy/girlfriend:
Someone Somewhere

3. Your hair?
Quack Quack (short story)

4. Your mother?
Devilish Saint (or is she a sainltly devil?)

5. Your father:
No comment

6. Your Favorite Item:
Familiar Pilllow

7. Your dream last night:
Not memorable

8. Your Favorite drink
Vodka Tonic

9. Your Dream Car:
Chauffeur Driver

10. The Room You Are In:
Comfy Basement

11. Your Ex:
Better off

12. Your fear?
Fucking crickets

13. Where you want to be in 10 years?
Somewhere else

14. Who you hung out with last night:
Best friend

15. What You're Not:
Giving up

16. Your Best Friend:
Bunny killer

17. Two of Your Wish List Items (one word each):
ruins zombie

18. The Last Thing You Did:
Played Xbox

19. What You Are Wearing:
sweatshirt boxers

20. Your Favorite Weather:
touch football

21. Your Favorite Book:
muthafuckin' Dry

22. The Last Thing You ate:
eggs hash (thanks bunny killer)

23. Your Life:
in flux

24. Your Mood:
sunny gloomy

25. Your body:
Poppin Fresh

26. What are you thinking about right now:
question twenty-five (grrr)

27. What are you doing at the moment:
contemplating bedtime

Oddly enough, no shrine has been erected.

BEHOLD! The shroud of Mr. Pringles...

Honestly, the worst television ever.

The World Series of Darts on ESPN.
Any sporting event that requires multiple obnoxious loud men with accents as commentators to give it any level of excitement is doomed from the start.
I just watched about 20 minutes of this travesty while attending to some computer shtuff, and honestly, it's 20 minutes my ears will never get back. Poor things.

This is entirely too wrong.

And rather amusing. Bravo, Details magazine...

Dear Trotsky,

We regret to inform you that the position you were interviewing for has now been filled. As such, we will no longer need to see you on Wednesday at 1:30.
Thank you for your time and best of luck in your job search.
Regards,
Corporate Douche

Oh boy. Ow.

So I'm hideously out of shape these days. Well, I'm a shape, but not inshape.
So I played semi-competitive tennis this morning for the first time in about 7 months (we kept score, everyone wanted to win). I played for 2 1/2 hours, lots of huffing anf puffing.
Then, after about an hour rest and clean up, I was on my feet for the next six hours working at my friend's store.
So I'm now slathered in Icy Hot. It covers roughly 1/3 of my body. Burn, baby, burn!

I think I'm going to go to sleep before 10 o'clock for the first time since I was in 9th grade. It's gonna be so rough tomorrow.

an online photo horror story? I dunno.

My chum cum boss and I have a client out in the woods of NE Pennsylvania. The client's offices are nestled among the remains of a resort community. This particular community serviced the garment worker's union back in the day, but it's gone to seed. It is now the creepiest place I've ever been. And I've been given a guided tour! (Second is the basement of my aunt's old house. )

Anyhow - since we first visited, ST and I have been fascinated by the joint, by all the run down cabins, the beautiful theater that's been neglected for so long that the deer have made homes inside. There was a set of bungalows that were restored (really, beautifully restored) for the original administrative offices of our client, but once they downsized they were abandoned, and they're just as bad as the rest now.
So we think this place would be a fantastic place for a horror flick. And we started talking about our killer, that he/she's be a garment worker who died in a sweatshop, or some child laborer who died under the horrible working conditions of the late 1800s/early 1900s. Or just some crazy whack job, I dunno. Your ideas are as good as ours.
We dubbed her, The Seamstress. A name which conjured up dozens of lousy catch phrases and witty ways of dispatching oversexed teenagers and others...
To get a brief idea of how the place looks, head on over to My Photoset on Flickr and check out the pics from the last time we were there. I hope to get there in the evening some time soon, and I'll take some night shots.
I don't know what exactly to do with all these, but I thought it'd be fun to PhotoShop some of our friends getting gutted at various locales, and write some witty situations or dialogue to go with them. Of course, if you were all closer, I'd just put you in the car and drive out there to faux kill ya.
So do with these pics what you will. I will try and post more as I get out there again, and I think might be posting some as well.
All comments and caption ideas are welcome. Don't ask me why I took so many pictures of the vending machine. I don't know.

the dangers of listening to your friends...

At least once every couple of months, someone makes some kind of suggestion about some facet of my being that I initially laugh off, then take to heart and try out. These things usually end in failure.

For instance, a month ago a friend of mine said, "I mean, you're cute and all, but you should definitely grow a goatee. You'd be way cute with a goatee." (This is a paraphrased version of the conversation, and no, this isn't a teenage girl.)

So time passed, and I decided to give it a whirl, so I haven't shaved in a week or so, and this morning I shaved off all but the valuable goatee bits.

I'd like to get a ruling here, but I think it looks like I just gave Fudgie the Whale a rim job.



Remember Fudgie - you said you'd call me...

what I love about being up too late.

Flipping around channels, and seeing the following description for a television program:
"In the future, the only remaining human kickboxer must stop his rampaging cyborg counterpart."
WHA?

English doesn't provide us with words.

To describe the the joy that these links will bring to geeks everywhere. Perhaps that's why the Swiss are responsible.
the first treat.
this is more recent.

Holy Crap - it's OmniWeb!

Thanks to TUAW, I have a new browser.
SUPER FAST!!!
And instead of tabbed browsing, this browser opens a "Drawer" on the left hand side of the viewing pane (which is cool for me on account of my widescreen monitor) with screenshots of the tabbed page (or a list). How cool is that?

If "Superman Returns" was a Tshirt on a fat guy at a NASCAR event....

it would say:
Three Reasons Why Superman Returns Is Like My Wife
1) Has No Idea What A Climax Is
2) Lots of Talk, Doesn't Say Anything
3) Sure Looks Purty In A Cape

Superman Returns is an InAction Movie. Not enough happens, there are some plot details which really make you question how you feel about Superman, and they managed to make Parker Posey boring, a feat that astounds me. As far as reporters go, I'd rather watch the Connie Chung farewell for three hours than bland Kate Bosworth.
On the other hand - Spacey's pretty watchable, Brandon Routh and James Marsden are attractive, and the production design is gorgeous. I just wish all those pretty sets and costumes spread out over 147 minutes told a story I couldn't sum up in about 5 minutes without missing anything major. Not so good.

Here are a couple of other complaints:
Film Structure/Continuity/Basic Logic:
Shouldn't something exciting happen in the last 90 minutes of this movie?
Shouldn't Lex's plot be foiled before it goes into effect? You know, before it messes with the nature of the planet and splits apart a tectonic plate? That doesn't seem like the kind of thing that goes and repairs itself all quick-like.
Honestly, is Kitty's Great Brave Act really that important? It seems so tiny for the amount of time they spent building up to it. Not to mention the fact that it's now unlikely that Superman could ever recover the items Lex stole.
I'm certain the will that the dying old woman signs is valid. Of course it is. She signed it in the moments before she passed in the presence of nobody but the beneficiary of her estate. I'm certain that's legal. Do they not have Anna Nicole Smith where the screenwriters live? Wouldn't this have brought on some legal issues which would then expose Luthor to the press? (I understand it's Metropolis, and not New York City, and that they live in the DC Universe, but they're trying so hard to make it a living part of our real world, it would be nice if they paid even partial attention to how our real world works)
Hey - uh, if he had that shard of Kryptonite in him the whole time, and the uh, GIANT land mass he's lifting out of the Earth's crust has the properties of Kryptonite, how the hell is he doing what he's doing? It's just a question, and I'm sure it's to be answered with something about his incredible will and all, but I think those are just bullshit answers.
There was a fair amount of mentioning Marlon Brando's 1978 performance being reused for this film. What's he got, 30 seconds of screen time?

Character/Actor Issues:
Um, if Superman's so virtuous and good, why is there even a question about who Lois' kid's father is? Was there premarital sex? With an alien, for chrissakes?
Also - if the kid's 5 years old, how old are we supposed to believe Kate Bosworth's Lois is? How old when she finished college? How long did it take to become the premier reporter for a major city newspaper? (Bosworth, by the way, is 23 as of this writing)
Truly - I don't know who was more boring in this picture among the leads. They were all so bland and colorless. (speaking of colorless - here's a fun game! Count the Minorities with Speaking Parts! What a big White city Metropolis is! Hooray!)

Murky Themes:
Three words: Baby's First Murder! They're so cute at that age.

One Last Thing - if Lois Lane is 23, and the kid is 5, that means that the child was conceived when Lois was, if my math is correct, 17 or 18. Is Superman now a rapist in addition to being an absentee father? (And, while we're at it, a douchebag who leaves his girlfriend without any warning after having unprotected sex with her?)
Just askin'


Mind you - I would not have had such time to think about all these bits of business if something was actually happening in this movie. I appreciate that they didn't want it to be some sort of by-the-numbers, set piece-to-set piece type of film, but it would have been nice for something wow worthy to happen. There isn't enough gravitas to the plot or people to sustain it as a drama. Among the serious comic book films, this falls well behind the Batman Begins and Spiderman 2s of the world.

How "Jesus Is Magic" was like "The Island"

Bear with me here.
Last year, my chum and hetero man-date went to see the first showing of Star Wars Episode III (we're so cool).
Anyhow, the theatre was packed fulla losers like us (or if you were in DE, like ). The most memorable moment was before the film unspooled. The preview for the Michael Bay opus, "The Island" came on. Once the preview finished, there was absolute silence. Except for one guy, about 5-7 rows in front of us. He perfectly encapsulated the crowd's opinion of the preview (and thus, of the entire film):
He said, "No."
That was it - just a plain spoken, slightly louder than normal speaking voice, "No." Maybe the funniest thing that I witnessed in a movie house in 2005.
I tell this outdated story for a reason.
My roommate and I watched "Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic" on Sunday night. After the longest hour and six minutes of my life were over, my roomie just stared at the television (more through the television, if that's possible) and said, "No."
It was the most we laughed all night.
Jesus is Magic is a slow, unfunny trip through the mind of someone who I think is a funny person. Some of the jokes are shock/funny, but the film is so stiflingly paced it's amazing. I nearly nodded off several times during the film. At one point, my roomie had to shout my name to jar me awake. The songs aren't that funny, or good. The concert footage would be good if it wasn't cut like a Calvin Klein commercial (the director ADDS silence with all the duts he makes. I repeat, he ADDS SILENCE). It should have been a 30 minute deal, or an hour on Comedy Central. For goodness' sakes, they make Bob Odenkirk unfunny. And not in an ironic way. Just unfunny.
Please, please, please don't watch this movie. Save yourselves.

DRATS! Foiled Again!

My date () has taken ill, so I won't be attending this evening's performance of The Wall in Philly. Sorry - I'm so bummed. (But there's no way I'm headed down there solo.)
Have a great show! No Prisoners!

Then suddenly there is so much Keane...

Saw Keane tonight at the Bowery Ballroom with and das Moyn. What a show!
First - if you ever get the chance to see a band you really like play a small venue like The Bowery, you should go. You should make sure you don't miss out. It's a great intimate space that tends to have excellent sound, available bartenders, and enough floor space to pogo (if you must).
Second - This was the only show that Keane will play in the area until the launch a formal tour. They're in NYC doing press for their excellent new album, Under The Iron Sea, so the place was packed with Keane fans (some of whom paid exorbitant prices for tickets) who knew a lot of the lyrics and sung their brains out. Even with crowd singing, Tom Chaplin's voice was crystal clear.
I'd go on ad infinitum about the Keane show, but I'm way tired, and I've gotta work tomorrow, then off to Philly for 's Wall. Such the social butterfly.

a dream photo...

Very funny for some...

I know I'm not the only one...

1) I am so stoked for Superman Returns. (I'm sure not nearly as much as .) The guy looks like he might do the role some justice (and if not, he's kinda purty), and I think Spacey as Luthor is spot on casting. That's before we even get to the fact that Parker Posey is going to play another scenery chewing villainess (ahh... Josie and the Pussycats).

2) I'm really, really bummed about the poor US showing in the World Cup. I guess I'm going to root for the English side now. (And maybe Argentina. Though they are sorta diametrically opposed politically. I think this was how I got through the Falklands, too - cheering for both sides.)
I'll pull for the English because, well, they're English. But Argentina is playing such a beautiful brand of soccer right now - great bits of creativity, some amazing combination play, breathtaking skill, really. So I think if the Argentines were to face the Brits, I'd be wearing some sky blue and white. And maybe doing an eight ball of blow in honor of Maradona.

They did it! I can't believe it...

My brother got married this weekend. He and his wife (WIFE!! Ahhh!) are so fantastic - the whole experience was wonderful.
Click here for pics.
Long weekend. Happy times.

for <lj user="secondtino">

Here's a little something to make it a tad tougher to go to sleep tonight.

So...

It appears that Lindsay Lohan is squashing rumors about who she's dating. Normally, this wouldn't even be worth reading twice, but the last line from the publicist is great: "Lindsay is dating several men who live overseas."
Can you believe it?
Maybe Linday's overseas boyfriends can meet the girlfriend I have in Canada that claimed to have in middle school...

With apologies to <lj user="jeremym">

Recently, my friend posted about his hating match.com and how it's contributed to him no longer dating.
I tsk-tsk'd his position. Until this evening, when among my emails was a response to my ad on match.com. Among the thrilling three sentences (way to show you're interested! Forty three words!) from the 22 year old law student is the following gem, "You look like my Poly Sci professor in undergrad."
Since reading that line, I've had two more beers, and tried to talk myself off the ledge. (Mostly because I live in a 2 story house, so jumping off the ledge would do little more than destroy a hedge or a flower bush)

What kind of world do we live in?

Where they can legally sell this without some surgeon general's warning on it regarding addiction?

OK - WTF?!!?!

Does anybody have any idea what the hell's going to happen next on Lost?!

Is It Any Wonder?

Music that keeps cycling through my itty-bitty mind:
"Is It Any Wonder?" the new single from Keane's upcoming CD. Awesome protest-y anthem. Very Achtung U2.
"Life Wasted" and "World Wide Suicide" from the new Pearl Jam CD.
"Don't Follow" from Alice in Chains' Jar of Flies.
"Bat Country" by Avenged Sevenfold (I know, they're total sellouts, but it's a catchy little metal song)
"Heroes and Heroin" by Gary Jules
"Let's Take Some Drugs and Drive Around" by The Silos (thanks )
"Mandinka" by Sinead O'Connor
"Statistician's Blues" by Todd Snider

(I figured I hadn't blogged in a while, and i don't have much, so it's another list from me...)

Run! Run!

If you're going to be near NYC any time in the next several months, I'd recommend the following two shows I've seen recently:
1) The Drowsy Chaperone - a musical homage to the fluff musicals of the 1920s that's written and staged and performed with such wit and flair that you don't mind that you remember none of the songs. Funny, funny, funny show - from beginning to end. Sutton Foster gives a wonderful performance (would be surprised if she's not Tony nominated for this), and Bob Martin (who also wrote the book) is incredible as "Man In Chair". See this show. Seriously.
2) The Lieutenant of Inishmore - Holy shit. I saw this play this evening. From the nosebleeds. It's brilliantly funny, gory as all hell, it's like Pulp Fiction in Ireland. I cannot recommend it highly enough. If you know me, and you think my twisted sadistic sense of humor is funny, then you should really, really make your way to the Lyceum.

Clap Your Hands Say Blah!

So this past Friday was a busy night out with and our friend Tom - much fun was had by all. Here's a brief recap:
Dinner at Ocha (Japanese food on Restaurant Row) was excellent. I'm not much for Japanese usually, but we had a great time, the food was good, and we got out for less than $80 for the three of us. Not too shabby. (The sushi there is supposed to be alright, but I was a wuss and stuck with tuna rolls and tempura. Hooray wasabi!)

Off to the Lyceum Theatre for the first preview of The Caine Mutiny. Keeping in mind that this is the first preview, I can forgive the minor line flubs and mistakes, and the couple of moments where it seemed somebody went up on their lines (that's always a fun second or two, watching the actors exchange glances, each expecting the other to deliver a line). However, I don't remember this play being so funny. Each witness who took the stand, particularly those testifying for the prosecution in the latter stages of the first act, was some sort of character having some sort of schtick. To me, this seems to completely counter the argument that the play is trying to make. The play seems to be an indictment of those who would write fiction criticizing the war (WWII) and those who fought it, particularly the men in the "regular" military (as opposed to those in the reserves, or those who were drafted). In any event, the lack of tension in the first act negatively impacts what should be an extremely tense second act. I thought David Schwimmer did a good job resisting the urge to be funny, and he's really not a bad choice for the role. Zeljko Ivanek is alright as Queeq, he makes a nice transformation under pressure - a slightly different performance than Bogart's (to say the least).

From the Lyceum, we ventured out to the Bowery Ballroom for Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah. I'm a big fan of their CD (thanks ) and I thought they might be fun to see live. And the tickets were pretty cheap, always a good thing. By the time we got there, the second opening act was winding down, a band featuring a trumpet, a clarinet (both played poorly), a xylophone, and (for their final song) all the members wearing what looked like Mary-Kate (or Ashley) Olsen masks. They kinda sucked. So Clap Your Hands get on stage, and they're alright. The music is oddly similar to the studio recordings. I'm not saying they were using a backing track or anything, but usually a live show sounds a lot different than the CD. It just wasn't there for me. And then there were the other concertgoers. Let's just say that the show wasn't sponsored by Head and Shoulders. Or Right Guard. Young 20 somethings from Williamsburg so desperate to be cool. A good 70% of the men had gone through their closets to find their most ironic t-shirt for the occasion. Women were divided between trying to look like Natalie Merchant (if I see one more white floral print dress on a girl with hips, I'm going to have to say something) or trying to look like boys. But they were having a good time, trying to see who could sing the loudest without actually knowing any of the words. Good times.

So we left there before the end of the show, and I got back to my car in time to get a lower rate on parking. And the three of us had a blast hanging out together all night.

So a good time was had by all!

Long overdue

I saw Franz Ferdinand and Death Cab For Cutie at the Tweeter Center in scenic Camden last weekend.
Franz were again the energetic rocking funsters they were the last time I saw them in October.
This was the first time I saw Death Cab. I've often felt that Death Cab sung pop tunes for kids who cut themselves, and this show was further proof. There were teens aplenty. And there were parents. The entire row behind us seemed like the Real Housewives of Bucks County.
Death Cab were good, though I probably wouldn't see them again. I don't care how hard you hit your drums, high much you jump up and down during the songs, or if you're from Seattle - you ain't grunge. You ain't heavy. And maybe one of these days it wouldn't hurt to write a happy song. Something that you can do for an encore, as opposed to the current bummerfest choices, "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" and "Transatlantacism". Kids cheered as they heard the first chords of "I Will Follow You Into The Dark". Upon seeing the incredulous look on my face, my pal Tom said, "It's their suicide pact song."
Also - the fans are kind of annoying. All the camera phones and digital cameras being shoved up in the air in front of my face the whole time. Damn kids think that if they don't have a picture, they weren't really at the show.

Erin's my new favorite sister!

My sister Erin gave me a book for Christmas this year. We don't usually exchange gifts, and considering that I'd gotten her nothing, this year was no different. It was a her copy of a book that she and her man (the brilliant Todd of Railroad Earth fame) had both enjoyed tremendously, but she couldn't think of anyone else that might like it other than me.
I was in the middle of three other books or whatnots at the time, so I put this one to the side for the time being, vowing to get to it. It's rare that someone gives me books as a gift (I give them often), and I think the kind of book you give someone says a lot about what kind of person you think they are.

The book is Ship of Gold in the Deep Blue Sea by Gary Kinder (Buy me!) and I've just spent the last 3 hours finishing it.
It's the true account of an Gold Rush era shipwreck and the attempted salvage of the ship's contents in the 1980s. If Tom Clancy novels are you sort of thing, read this book. If you enjoy a good yarn about good people doing great things, read this book. It's a fascinating snapshot of the time of the wreck, a techno-thriller race between rivals, and an informative peek into a revolution in deep sea exploration.
Mind you - I don't like any of these things. At least I didn't think I did.
But I loved this book.
Now I have to email Erin...

Mind you , I prefer the alternative...

but being stuck at home these days has led to a great appreciation for the sport of curling.
It's fascinating. It's a strange melange of shuffleboard, chess, and bocce. On ice. I'm addicted. I just wish the little girls on Team USA weren't a bunch of chokers. They're so perky and cute. And of course, one of the girls is the obligatory pudgy friend. They would be a great reality show that nobody'd watch.
And women's hockey. Team USA's captain, Krissy Wendell, has moves and hands that remind me of Denis Savard. She humbles all men.
Now that men's hockey has started, the 7AM - 5PM area of my day has a purpose. I go through the job boards and apply, apply, apply. I do some minor project work for a friend. And I flip around on NBC's coverage of the Olympics. (The daytime coverage is a billion times better than the primetime stuff. Sure, they're only showing curling, biathlon, and hockey, but it's all live and you don't have to put up with too much "Up Close and Personal" bullshit. It's all action, baby.)

As some of you know, I was laid off a week and a half ago, in a maneuver as cunning as anything on Survivor. I only wish I was carrying a torch when it happened.
In any event, I have been furiously submitting resumes to potential employers, most of them online. I have become very tired of admitting that I'm a white male and I'm not disabled, and no, I'm not a veteran.
I wish they'd abolish the Equal Opportunity laws just to save me the extra mouse clicks. Geez.
(Of course, this post was prompted when I had to redo an entire submission because I closed my web browser before answering the additional page of EEO questions. Dur.)

Every fiber of my being....

wishes that I was still working in NYC -
so I could waste an evening and $15 going to see Heddatron!<\a>

Could be great, could be a disaster

From Rufus Wainwright's website:

Rufus performs Judy Garland's songs! June 14, 2006.

Rufus! Rufus! Rufus! Mark your calendars for June 14, 2006. Rufus will be performing the songs from Judy Garland's legendary 1961 Carnegie Hall live recording - at Carnegie Hall! Please check back for ticket information.

disturbing things to do with children's toys.

This is immensely amusing.
I particularly enjoy the authentic scripts they've written...
(much love and thanks to for the link.)

I'd say that it's amazingly beautiful in NYC today

... but it's 60 degrees in January, and I'm just about certain that means Jake Gyllenhall and Emmy Rossum are going to the New York Public Library very soon, and it doesn't look so good for Ian Holm.

One of the bonuses of doing what I do.

When 95% of your customers aren't certain how the Internet operates, you can tell them *anything*, and they'll believe it.

I just told a woman who paid for domain name renewal two weeks ago that it would take 1 more hour for her name to work again. (Because my coworker had forgotten to actually *renew* the domain name.)

The customer's response, "I knew I should have waited to call."

Project Runway last night

I was going to post a diary entry for last night's Project Runway, as my roommate inevitably says two or three things an episode that I feel should be recorded for posterity*. However, I've become selfish, and refuse to share them with you. Besides, doing a running diary is something you do because nobody else is there to hear your witty, catty remarks. It's not something you do when someone's there providing instant feedback and alternate opinions.


Last night they voted the wrong person off. Big time. I think it's one of those occasions where the producers went to the judges and said, "Yes, Santino's outfit is atrocious and he should be forced to wear it outside a Ranch 1, but he's much better television than Emmett, and it's not like Emmett has a shot of winning, so keep the whack job." Twas a bit disappointing. Of course, now Emmett can get back home to tend to all rotting corpses he must have in his basement. He's as creepy a man as I've ever seen on television. Well, besides Little Richard.


* The best thing that KL has said so far was last week. One contestant was explaining her approach to the challenges, and KL sneered, "And that's why you'll never win, Zuleema!" You'd have thought he was in a sci-fi movie.

Ahh fun.

So there's this guy on the train this morning, and I'm not going to say he's stuck up, but he's dressed in his 50's (at least), wearing a standard republican issue Brooks Brothers nay suit with a bowtie. Yes, a real bowtie.
But the capper (literally), was he had a maroon Exeter baseball cap on his head.

Of course, if I was spending $30+K a year to send my kid to prep school, the least I'd want out of it was a ballcap.

OK - I am not made of stone....

While waiting to gain some time on the 24 premiere on Sunday (got to wait 30 minutes so I can TiVo through all the commercials. It's more crucial with 24 than with any other show.), I channel surfed a bit until I came to the second hour of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Now, I've probably seen it before in passing, but I was paying attention to this, and NOTHING gets my hay fever going like watching people struggle to help other people out of the simple goodness of their hearts (and for Nielsen points).
This particular episode featured a house in Seattle where it rained all week, slowing the construction mightily, to the point where they were *gasp* going to have to push the reveal back an extra day. So the construction coordinator (who has been slowly deteriorating the entire episode from lack of sleep, frustration, etc) literally crumbles and says that while he appreciates the offer, he (through *buckets* of tears) and his men were going to get this house finished by the original deadline.
Well. You'd have thought I was watching Terms of Endearment with my mother, the way I was tearing up. Damn those manipulative gods of television!!!
Happily, they went back to Sears and Kenmore product placement shots within a couple of minutes, so I was able to build up my wall of cynicism again. Phew!

it's fricking freezing!

It snowed and iced yesterday, which is sort of par for the January course, but what was amazing was the wind! It whipped around all day yesterday, kept me awake most of last night, and continues today.
My windows were locked shut, and my blinds were still swaying all night. The wind was making that horror movie howling sound - twas creepy.
So I'm a little tired today, watching the football games, Devils are playing later, but I'll be damed if I'm going to go out in this!

stupid, but amusing link

working with computer guys has its perks.
Getting referred to pages like this is one of them.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

OK - maybe that's not true, but if you're like me, the end of the holidays is a much more pleasant time than the holidays themselves. Of course, that might be because I'm single and stuff. (And time is passing. I feel like a Nathan Lane character, "I'm not new...")

Anyway - I wisely took a break from blogging in December, as all the bad things happen in December (birthday, christmas, NYE, more family engagements than I care to mention).

Some cool stuff did happen in December - I went to a Railroad Earth concert on my birthday at the Bowery with my brother and his fiancee. Always good to see RRE. My sister's beau is the lead singer. They're a non-traditional bluegrass band (that is to say, they have a drummer). There was a nice surreal moment before they went on where I was chatting with my sister's boyfriend (Todd), and we were interrupted by some guy who wanted Todd's picture (I graciously offered to take a shot of the two of them. That guy's *never* getting his camera back!) and then a roadie came over and told Todd he had 5 minutes. I thought, "Todd has roadies AND stalkers. Cool."

I don't know what else I've got here. But I figured I'd post something.
Maybe some 2005 retrospective later. Who knows?